Welcome to our Fringe Restaurant Series, where Jennifer and I travel just far enough outside the Twin Cities city limits where all of the new HOAs are being built. This time, we landed in Rockford, MN, at a place called Clays Bar + Grill.
The Vibe: Shotguns and Space
First things first: when you walk in, you’re greeted by the name “CLAYS” spelled out in shotgun shells. It’s a bold decor choice that says, “We like sports, we like hunting, and we are good with that.”
The place is huge. We arrived on a Saturday around 1:00 PM, and it was a little quiet—only six of us in the whole joint on a beautiful spring day before the outdoor patio was open for the season. But you can tell this room is built for chaos. Between the multiple claw machines, Golden Tee, Big Buck Hunter, four dart boards, and two pool tables, it’s basically a playground for people who don’t want to grow up.
The Drink: The “No-Frills” Old Fashioned
I’ve decided to make Old Fashioneds the official benchmark for these posts. Lately, every bar has a “Specialty Old Fashioned Menu” that’s longer than War and Peace. Clays? Not so much. No special menu, no artisanal hand-carved ice, no smoked wood chips that cost as much as a mortgage payment.
I went with the rail whiskey Old Fashioned. And you know what? It was good. Sometimes you don’t need a mixologist with a waxed mustache to tell you how to enjoy bourbon and bitters. As for the beer? Well, as a guy who’s spent 30 years brewing my own beer, let’s just say the selection was “The Greatest Hits of Every Fridge in America.” Standard, reliable, and it won’t judge you.
The Main Event: Wing Heaven
If you’re going to Clays, you should be going for the wings. I tackled a dozen (which I never do):
- 6 Buffalo Dry Rub: Really nice flavor and had a fabulous crunch. It had a different flavor than a buffalo sauce. More like a season salt vibe, but a unique flavor that I would recommend.
- 6 Stingin’ Honey Garlic: The kind of sauce that makes you want to lick the basket (but I didn’t, because Jennifer was watching).
Honestly? I’d drive back to Rockford just for the wings. Jennifer, being the voice of reason and health, had the Grilled Chicken Salad, which looked suspiciously like “responsible adult food,” but she gave it the thumbs up.
The DINK Verdict
Is it DINK-friendly? Yes. We had a peaceful, mostly kid-free lunch, but the writing is on the wall. Between the games and the “kids are welcomed here” vibe, I imagine this place gets loud and filled with families during peak hours.
The Essentials:
- Staff: Extremely friendly.
- Gambling: Pull tabs and e-tabs are ready for your donation.
- Return Factor: High.
Until next time, keep your drinks cold and your dry rubs spicy.
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